Monday, January 14, 2013

Mrs. Wilkie and the Iron Bowl

(Photo courtesy trackemtigers.com)
OK, first of all, in case our faithful readers did not know, Jon Nelson - founder and president of OSG Sports Media - got married over the weekend (which is why OSG was a little silent - we were all at the wedding festivities).

I tell you this to set up one of the funniest moments of the weekend.

Brother Wilkie, Mrs. Wilkie, and I were standing at the reception, admiring all of the Auburn fans in attendance. Brother Jon's wife is a HUGE supporter of the Atlanta Auburn Club, and I think the entire town of Ozark, AL was there for the wedding. The reception band came all the way up from Auburn, Alabama.

They even played War Eagle during the reception, and worked it into the wedding processional. I'm not lying, Auburn was in the house! Brother Jon is a diehard FSU fan, and did have a flaming spear on top of his groom's cake. There was SOME diversity.

Mrs. Wilkie said, "Ya know, I should go up to the new Mrs. Brother Jon and ask her if I can join the Atlanta Auburn Club. I like these people."

(NOTE: Mrs. Wilkie was born and raised in upstate New York. Trust me; it matters.)

Wilkie goes, "You don't need to join. Just say War Damn Eagle at the top of your lungs and you're in!"

Me, being the kindhearted person I am, and knowing that Mrs. Wilkie is not the biggest football fan in the world, I decide to offer my brand of advice.

"Mrs. Wilkie, here's the deal. all you have to do is walk up to any Auburn fan here, take in a deep breath, and say "Roll Tide!" as confidently as you can."

Wilkie immediately shoots me a glance, and we both smile. Mrs. Wilkie innocently said, "OK, I'll do that!"

As I'm brandishing a cheshire cat grin, a very well lubricated Auburn fan came up to Wilkie, pointed his finger at him, and said, "I heard what you said."

Wilkie immediately started backpedaling, saying "I said say War Eagle...I said say War Eagle...that wasn't me!"

Then the Toomer's Corner alum turned to Mrs. Wilkie and said, "It was you. I heard what you said."

With an innocent grin, Mrs. Wilkie said, "What did I say?"

The fan shared with Mrs. Wilkie that, "Those words...Roll Tide...have NEVER brought joy to anyone's hearts...you best stop saying those words."

At this point, Wilkie and I are literally in tears due to extreme laughter, as Mrs. Wilkie is now surrounded by Auburn faithful - getting an earful about why Auburn is better than Alabama. It was like blood in the water, and these Auburn fans were trying to convince Mrs. Wilkie (who kept saying, "I'm from New York...I don't care about football"...still with that innocent grin on her face). She let them talk...and talk...and talk...and we kept laughing our butts off.

Brother Phil comes up and asks what we're laughing so hard about.

"She's getting a crash course about the Iron Bowl!" Wilkie squeezes out between rolls of laughter (yes, I used that word on purpose).

I guess the moral of the story is this. If one is surrounded by Auburn fans, and there are adult beverages around, one must never ever mention "Roll Tide" - even in jest.

Unless you're saying you want them to roll the hell back to Tuscaloosa.

(NOTE: Everyone does know that Alabama just won back-to-back National Championships, right? And three out of the last four? Just saying...)

I'm sorry, Mrs. Wilkie. That was not the way I intended to show you the importance of the Iron Bowl.

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