Haynesworth Pleads Nolo

((HT: CSNWashington))

Former Washington Redskins DE Albert Haynesworth wandered into court today... with as much effort as he showed playing for the Redskins...

Sorry, it was too easy...

He pleaded no contest to simple assault to put an end to the case where he was accused of touching the breast of a waitress at a Washington hotel. He had been scheduled to go to trial tomorrow on a misdemeanor charge of sexual abuse.

He was trying to pay his tab and either brushed the waitresses wardrobe accidentally or on purpose with the hand that was holding his credit card...

If he had been convicted of the sexual abuse charge, he could have faced up to six months in jail and a fine of up to $1,000. But the plea will stick as long as Haynesworth stays out of trouble for the next year-and-a-half.

Here's his message for everyone outside...

Free Sav Rocca!

Sav Rocca

((ht: nbcwashington))

It appears the Washington Redskins are still waiting for their punter to get a work visa and report to camp.

New punter Sav Rocca, from Australia, has not gotten the "O.K" from the government to have said Visa and thusly show up in the U.S.

Apparently, slightly loony Redskins head coach Mike Shanahan has an idea to get Rocca here. Marry an American.

We think he was kidding, but Shanahan told reporters Thursday morning Rocca has a job here in the U.S. He also said, "Eventually they'll let him go or, at least, I'm hoping they'll let him go. If not, I told him to get married to an American and that'll make it easier."

Except Rocca is already married.

Anyway, here's the story from NBCWashington including some quotes from Rocca, RIGHT HERE

Rocca, a former Australian Rules Football star, kicked for the Eagles the last few seasons and apparently made a pretty good impression, developing quite the following. Much like the Hispanic Baseball players, he's struggling probably because we aren't exactly known here in the U.S for our bureaucratic efficiency.

He'll eventually show up, and the Redskins will be fine. The only real question here, and without the video it'll be tough to tell, is whether Shanahan was kidding...or not.

Here's Rocca face planting Roscoe Parrish with a tackle. Nice!

DEVELOPING: Haynesworth Indicted On Battery Charge

((HT: CSNWashington))

The problems of current Redskin Albert Haynesworth continue as he was indicted on a charge of misdemeanor sexual abuse in D.C. Superior Court. He is accused of fondling a waitress in early February during an incident at the W Hotel in Washington, DC.

The U.S. Attorney’s Office in Washington is handling the case. The charge carries maximum penalties of 180 days in jail and a $1,000 fine.

According to a press release, Haynesworth was with friends on February 13th in a place called the P.O.V Lounge. At about 2AM, he allegedly slid a credit card down the front of the server’s dress and then fondled her breast.

After the alleged incident, Haynesworth's agent Chad Speck said in an email: “There seems to be no truth to these allegations and we are currently evaluating the facts and considering our own legal actions against those involved.”

Ryan O'Halloran discusses briefly...


It's a shem that people can't be traded on draft day, because if anyone could offer up a way for Haynesworth to get out of the beltline, Mike Shanahan would REALLY take it now...

Brandon Banks's friend may have started fight that led to stabbings

((ht: washigtonpost.com/NBCWashington))

Early Saturday morning, Washington Redskins wide receiver/kick returner Brandon Banks and his friend Christopher Nixon were involved in a fight that led to both men being stabbed.

It had originally been believed both men were attacked by a man, later identified as Jason Shorter, wielding a knife.

However....that's now being questioned by police as the investigation continues. NBC Washington reports that surveillance video shows that Nixon took a swing at Shorter, which started the whole fracas.

Read the story from NBC Washington RIGHT HERE

Banks's injuries, though not critical, were a little more serious than first thought. Nixon was in worse shape as both men apparently were stabbed repeatedly.

Again, this illustrates the whole "Be Careful" theory, especially if you are a professional athlete. It appears, according to this report, that Banks himself, wasn't an instigator and in fact may have been just there and tried to defend his friend.

However, Banks's name is the one attached to and identified with this story. Thankfully for him, it doesn't appear any charges are pending and he'll make a full recovery. Hopefully the "Be Careful" message will resonate a little better.

Your TV Report, again from NBC Washington:

View more videos at: http://www.nbcwashington.com.

Haynesworth Turns Himself In And Leaves

((HT: CSNWashington))

Albert Haynesworth appeared at the Reston District ((VA)) police station related to an assault charges having to deal with an alleged road rage incident earlier this month. The Redskins defensive tackle spoke to police and left according to Fairfax County ((VA)) police.

Haynesworth and his attorney showed up, signed a summons, and left after being interviewed by police. Haynesworth is scheduled to appear in Fairfax County ((VA)) Criminal Court on March 31st.

The incident occurred back on February 2nd in the Virginia town of Reston. He allegedly struck another driver after a confrontation on the road. Haynesworth's attorney has denied his client committed an assault.

Naturally...

But does he have future in DC...???
Let's ask the question again...

Dan Snyder is a Douchebag...

Dan Snyder/Courtesy: foreverdc.com

((ht: washington post))

Geez. Mr. Sense of Humor himself, Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder apparently doesn't like it when people have a little fun with his lack of successful sports ownership skills.

In fact, he apparently has such a small...no non-existent sense of humor, that a somewhat facetious story in the Washington City Paper got him so riled up that he is threatening to sue the paper unless they fire the reporter that wrote it.

Note to little Dan...you don't own the paper...or the reporter who wrote it. Read the offending story, written by Dave McKenna which is really, pretty creative...and funny RIGHT HERE. There is also a response to Snyder by the publisher at the top of the story. Oh wait...we forgot. You tried to keep people from booing you or putting negative signs about you at your stadium. Sorry, we had to be reminded of that.

More from the Washington Post RIGHT HERE

Snyder's lawyers are claiming he's been defamed, though we are pretty sure that most Redskins fans could make the same claim against Snyder.

McKenna obviously did some research for the story, it makes references to quite a few things in Snyder's somewhat curious business past. Along with references a rather lengthy list of PR and greed missteps over the course of Snyder's ownership tenure.

Though we are far from lawyers, we are in the media and we are pretty sure that this is just a really lame-ass attempt at a publicity stunt from Snyder. Like it or not he's a public figure and as such it makes him open to satire (if he understands the term). Never mind the fact that the multitude of stupid moves both with the team and in the public gives pretty much any creative writer all the ammunition that they need to do the exact, well written and entertaining story that Mr. McKenna did.

We might recommend the comedian who did this skit on YouTube check his mailbox, there may be a lawsuit sitting in it from the target of his video.



I guess we better check ours now too.....

Kyle Addresses Shanahanigans Over McNabb

((HT: CSNWashington))

Kinda... at least Redskins OC Kyle Shanahan and QB Donovan McNabb had a sit-down to discuss things...

CSNW's Kelli Johnson cornered Kyle in the parking lot at Redskins Park...


Kyle's familiarity with Rex Grossman is understood with their time in Houston with the Texans... we all know how well that went...

And Brother J-Dub knows how well its going now...

Albert Hayneswoth suspended 4 games...Haynesworth says...uh uh...no you did unt...

Well, it was just a matter of time before the Albert Haynesworth versus Mike Shanahan battle came to a head. Today it was announced Fat Albert (our hero) will be sitting for the next 4 games, partially after saying on Monday "I ain't talking to him anymore".

The 'Skins for their part say that Haynesworth is being suspended for "Conduct Detrimental to the team". Though they didn't specify what that conduct was. Haynesworth was declared inactive for last weeks game, a humiliating 31-7 loss to the New York Giants. Reports about the reason he sat ranged from "Illness" to "Hangover" to "Being late".

More on the protest of the protest from the Washington Post RIGHT HERE

We think at this point the two sides just need to part ways. Haynesworth may go down as the biggest free agent flop in the history of free agency. Do we agree with the way that coach Mike Shanahan has handled all of this. Uh...no. He hasn't exactly been player friendly this year. Though it may very well be a process of weeding out old, overpaid veteran players who have their own agenda, not necessarily one that jibes with the team.

Though everyone involved denies it, expect Haynesworth to be cut loose after the season. We are pretty sure that someone will take a flyer on him, give him a chance to resurrect his career. He does have some talent and could be helpful to a team if he is interested or buys into the whole work 1st/team behavior that most teams expect. Whether that happens or not, remains to be seen.

Now....we have a chance to re-post Albert's theme song, one that until he proves otherwise, should stick:

Colt Brennan seriously hurt in Honolulu car crash

Colt Brennan/Courtesy: betbigdc.com

((ht: Cindy Boren/Washington Post))

Former Washington Redskins quarterback and former star at the University of Hawaii Colt Brennan is in a Honolulu hospital in serious condition after a Friday car crash.

Read more on what happened from the Washington Post RIGHT HERE

Brennan was riding in his girlfriends SUV Friday morning when the crash happened. We are assuming, since we aren't sure, that he was back in Hawaii waiting for another shot at the NFL. He was the third string quarterback for the Redskins for 2 seasons.

We hope that Brennan and the other two people injured in the crash are able to recover from their injuries.

The TV Version from KGMB-TV:

BREAKING: Donovan McNabb gets a 5-year, $78 million extension? Huh?

Donovan McNabb/Courtesy: Jim McIsaac-Getty Images

This doesn't make a bit of sense. Last week, the guy was according to his own coach "Out of condition" to lead the two-minute offense at the end of a game. This week, he signs a mega-contract, $40 million of which is guaranteed? To steal and old quote: "What's up wit dat?"

McNabb, who is in his first year with the Redskins hasn't exactly lit things up since moving down I-95. He hasn't been horrible, but has been somewhat less than impressive for the 4-4 'Skins. But hey, maybe they know something we don't.

We guess that Shaun Hill, Jon Kitna and Jason Campbell must be in for some big pay raises too. All of them have a...much higher QB rating than McNabb.

Read the original story from the 4-Letter (ESPN)'s Michael Smith RIGHT HERE

We do realize that this is Little Napolean Dan Snyder that we are talking about here and that Snyder is notorious for handing out bizarre contracts to guys a few years past their prime. While we like McNabb and thought he was absolutely fantastic when in Philly, he's done nothing in Washington. In Philly, he carried that team for years when the receiving corp consisted of guys like Freddy Mitchell. Really, he doesn't have much to work with in Washington either.

The big difference, Philadelphia had some really good QB's ready to replace McNabb, Washington....not so much.

Hey, we could be wrong about this and he could lead the Redskins to Super Bowl glory and all that. But we don't see it.

Check out this story from earlier this week talking about McNabb's benching in Detroit 2-weeks ago. Thanks to CSNWashington.com for this:

Clinton Portis chimes in about female reporters and gets reprimanded immediately

Clinton Portis/Courtesy: hogshaven.com

Well now, someone sure stepped into a hornet's nest now didn't they. Washington Redskins running back Clinton Portis, known for pretty much saying just about anything that crosses his mind, did just that today on a Washington DC radio station.

He added his two cents about...a--the situation with the reporter from Mexico, Ines Sainz and the Jets and b-- female sports reporters in general. He didn't have some very nice things to say.

Listen to the discussion with Mr. Portis on the Mike Wise Show on 106.7 the Fan RIGHT HERE

If you want to see what Portis said, then check out the Washington Post RIGHT HERE

Knowing Portis' penchant for speaking before thinking, it doesn't surprise anyone that he said what he did.

For their part, the NFL and the Redskins quickly distanced themselves from it. The NFL saying in a release "We have contacted the Redskins and they will discuss the matter directly with Mr. Portis"


The Redskins have already released an apology from Portis. "I was wrong to make the comments I did and I apologize. I respect the job that all reporters do. It is a tough job and we all have to work and act in a professional manner. I understand and support the team on these issues."


Since we have spent many years covering professional sports teams, we fully realize that there is...and there has been an issue with this subject. There have been many discussions about ways to make this less uncomfortable for both sides. The players, for their part, generally don't like getting ambushed by a phalanx of reporters and cameras as soon as they step out of the shower.

The flip side is, holding everyone until all are dressed doesn't solve the problem either. By that time, most players in most sports would be gone. Long gone. And the reporters would be left with nothing.

For those who criticize reporters, remember this. As much as you love your sports, part of your love is getting reaction, news and information about and on your favorite team. If there isn't a reporter there to do that, how else would you get it?

DEVELOPING: Hallelujah!!!! Albert Haynesworth Passes His Test!

Albert in happier times//Courtesy: Zimbio.com

And there was much rejoicing! The Fat Albert watch is over. Yes, that's right. It's over.

Our hero apparently took his conditioning test early on Saturday morning. To the pleasure of at least a few, he passed. Yay!

The details from the Washington Post RIGHT HERE

We aren't sure at this point who is the most happy. Is it Daniel Snyder? Is it Mike Shanahan? Is it Albert's agent? Or maybe it's just Albert himself?

The fact that there was so much consternation over a very large...and highly paid football player who threatened to hold out from camp because he didn't like his teams defensive strategy, is kind of a bit sad and pathetic. From what we know about sports, players are rarely...if ever in the position of trying to dictate what the team will do. They don't pay players to decide what scheme fits them best. They pay players to play and do the right thing.

Time will tell if this works for our hero, we would be interested in seeing the Vegas odds of him making it through the season without getting hurt. But then again, we could be wrong.

ESPN's David Lloyd talked back to Jeannine Edwards who looked like she was at the redskins facility in Ashburn, Virginia...
((HT: ESPN))


For the last time...enjoy our hero's theme song. Thanks YouTube:

Chris Cooley Scares Donovan McNabb

((HT: CSNWashington))

And this is why the HQ likes Chris Cooley...

The Washington Redskins tight end enlisted young Jacob to squeeze into his new quarterback's locker...

The results are somewhat typical for these situations...
Enjoy...


Simple, yet effective...
And McNabb gave the autograph... very classy in the circumstances...

Fat Albert Update: The Countdown Continues

Our Hero//File

Sorry we didn't have a chance to post our daily update on Thursday. My bad, having to get ready for the higher paying job got in the way.

Well, the Albert watch continues. In the lastest news, our hero apparently doesn't have any knee issues. Surprise.

The Redskins were concerned enough to get our hero an MRI on Thursday, that MRI, showed know damage. Could he have tendonitis? Sure. Could the knee just be stressed under the weight? Wouldn't be a shocker.

Today's update from our friends at the Washington Post is RIGHT HERE

Even the Jolly Roger agreed with the Redskins stance against Albert. Read more HERE

No, our hero won't be taking his test on Friday. In fact, according to the Post story...and several others, the Redskins are growing tired of this story.

However, we in the blogsphere will not grow tired of this. No. It is our moral duty. It is our responsibility to report on and mock this. It is an inalienable right to make fun of a 300 pound man who is being paid more money than any of us can comprehend not being able to do what his employer requires of him. The one and only person who can be blamed for this story/problem is our hero himself, of course, that's why we call him....FAT ALBERT.

So, keeping up our standards. Enjoy another adventure with our cartooned hero. Thanks YouTube:

Fat Albert Watch: Day 5 or 6

Our Hero is still sidelined

Because we started this, now we have to finish it.

There isn't much to report on the Fat Albert Watch. His knee is apparently holding him back from taking the dreaded "Conditioning Test" for yet another day.

Jason Reid has our morning updated from the Washington Post RIGHT HERE

Reid says that he doesn't anticipate Albert doing the test for a few days while his knee heals. For that we are kind of bummed.

As for the Redskins, they might be getting concerned that not only is their $100 million dollar man behaving like a high maintenance, whiny bitch, but that if he develops a perpetual knee problem, they'll have a hard time getting rid of him.

So...in the meantime, the Fat Albert Watch will go on hold for a couple of days until we see...or read when our hero gets back in action and completes this apparently highly difficult task.

Just to change things up...enjoy our hero's adventures in the Fat Albert Halloween special. Oooohhh...scary boys and girls. Thanks YouTube:

Fat Albert Watch: Day 4 or is it 5?

Fat Albert//Courtesy: opposingviews.com

The countdown continues. Your friend...and ours, Albert Haynesworth will go at least another day without practicing in Washington due to the fact that he hasn't passed a conditioning test.

The Washington Post reports that Albert's knee still hurts him and he needs another day of rest. That's why he didn't practice yet again today.

Jason Reid's Redskin Insider report from the Post is RIGHT HERE

Yes, we still find the whole situation here HIGHLY amusing. Granted Redskins fans probably don't, but so what? How many times will anyone have the chance to mock someone making so much money who couldn't put forth the effort or had enough interest to do what they've been paid oh...$100 million or so to do?

While we routinely cover and report on athletes doing dumb things, we haven't ranted much on how over-paid most of them are. The thought there being, if someone (Dan Snyder) is dumb enough to offer you the money, why not take it?

The problem comes when...to steal a quote...."With great power comes great responsibility", or in this case "With great money...apparently comes no responsibility". So therefore, we mock. Maybe Albert will get the message here. We are highly doubtful. But we will see. In the meantime, keep it up dude. It gives us something fresh to report on each morning.

Here's your Fat Albert theme song again...Thanks YouTube:

Fat Albert Conditioning Watch:Day 3

"Hey, hey, hey"//Courtesy: opposingviews.com

The countdown for the highly anticipated 3rd attempt for Albert Haynesworth to pass his conditioning test at Washington Redskins training camp continues.

Again, this morning, Haynesworth did look like he'd make that 3rd attempt, but after a light jog, he decided his knee still hurt and didn't do the 300-yard timed shuttle runs.

More from the Washington Post RIGHT HERE

We here at OSG Sports feel that we should provide our readers with daily updates to see if a rather large man who will be paid oh...$100 million or so for the next 4 or 5 years is capable of completing this task.

Of course this could have been avoided if Fat Albert had decided to participate in the offseason program with the rest of his teammates...but that would've been a lot less fun.

**PM UPDATE** Per the Post. According to Albert's coach, he did try the test today when his knee started to hurt. He also, may let him practice with the rest of his friends whether he passes the test or not, but he hasn't decided.

The story link is RIGHT HERE

Because its too easy...and we kind of enjoy posting this video and will continue posting it until he passes his test. Enjoy the Fat Albert Theme Song. Thanks YouTube:

Albert Haynesworth Tries Again Tomorrow

((HT: CSNWashington))

According to ESPN's John Clayton, Albert Haynesworth couldn't run a third 300-yard sprint in a good enough time, so Redskins head coach Mike Shanahan didn't let him practice with other Redskins Thursday.

Haynesworth had to pass a conditioning test of two sprints, but Shanahan thought he had too much rest time in between runs one and two.

Thus, the third was requested and, then, failed run...
He tries again tomorrow...
Won't that be fun...

Here's "30-To-40 Pounds Less Fat" Albert after practice sweating through his T-shirt...


But, then of course, this is what we all associate with Haynesworth, anyway...
((HT: RetroHeroes/CBS/Scheimer-Prescott/Cosby Enterprises))


Wonder if Haynesworth is going to learn something before it's done...???

Why is Chris Cooley eating condiments?

((ht: hotclicks/si.com))

Okay, most Washington Redskins and serious football fans know the name Chris Cooley. Cooley, a Tight End for the 'Skins is very media savvy. He has his own website, chriscooley47.blogspot.com, he Twitters and even participated with Chad Ochocinco in the "Ochocinco News Network".

This all somewhat explains the upcoming video where Mr. Cooley, while his wife is videotaping, decided to snack on not just one kitchen condiment, no, he had them all.

Check out the Video from You Tube:

Redskins aren't happy with their Albert Haynesworth....

And they shouldn't be happy with their Albert Haynesworth. The reasons are numerous, but the biggest is about $21 million, dollars that is.

You see, Mr. Haynesworth has chosen not to participate in this weeks Redskin mini-camp. The reason, well, he isn't holding out for money. No, he just doesn't want to play in Washington. The Redskins intially said "OK, if you don't want to be here, we'll let you find someplace else. But do it before your $21 million bonus in April". Needless to say, that didn't happen and Haynesworth gladly took his money. He still says he won't play in Washington, they say fine, they want their money back.

Tracee Hamiton of the Washington Post opines on the greedy one, read it RIGHT HERE

MyFOXDC took the pulse of the fans. See what they had to say:




Haynesworth's stance. He won't do anything mandatory and wants a trade. Sorry, not a whole lot of people are going to empathize with a guy who has a $100 million contract. No. Not going to happen.

Albert's current teammates aren't very happy either.

More from myfoxdc sports:



We would wish Mr. Haynesworth luck, he's going to need it. As his coach, Mike Shanahan said "If he wants to leave and go somewhere else where he can play in a 4-3 defense, fine, leave. Just don't take our money and then say that you won't play for us".

True that Mike Shanahan.