For Once in Its Life

For once in its life, the United States Golf Association decided not to monkey with its host course for the national championship. Torrey Pines, a public course in La Jolla, California, is from what I understand enough of a pain in the ass in the first place.

The rough is what you and I are used to when we go to our favorite hack-n-go track- gradual, but consistently unforgiving the more you decide not to obey the basics of swing form.

You hit it straight. The course has no qualm with you.
You as much as flinch the course takes out its ruler and finds your knuckles over and over again.

The only thing missing is the penguin.

The USGA is always looking for even par over 72 holes to be the yard mark for their champion. If you go under that level, then you have bettered Mother Nature and the USGA. Talk about a handicap match. If you don’t and you end up in black numbers, the powers-that-are shrug their shoulders, offer no forgiveness whatsoever, hand you a trophy, a long-time exemption, and a big check.

You’ve survived...

And Who Are You Again…???

You look at the last few years of winners and it’s almost a “Who’s Who” of “Who’s Who.” Angel Cabrera smoked three packs wandering around his last 18 on the way to a title. Geoff Ogilvy…??? He had a great shot pulled out of his bag to deny others a title. Michael Campbell survived and was the first Kiwi to win a Major. The only thing missing was a disrobing and a Haka dance. The last time anything was normal was 2004 when, going backwards, you get Retief Goosen, Jim Furyk, Tiger, Goosen again, and Tiger again in 2000.

They decided to pair the Top 12 players in the world with each other in the first two rounds worth of threesomes. Everyone looking at the Tiger, Phil, and Adam Scott grouping for either one of three reasons:

1) Gee, that Adam Scott is a cutie…
2) When is the first time that Phil is gonna say, “God, I was so stupid!”
3) Tiger’s quest to distract everyone from knee surgery with his wife and child wearing red
on a Sunday...

That’s cool and all, but it’s not what the National Championship is about.

It’s about a guy like Rickie Fowler, an amateur, who has played in Walker Cup competition, but not the US Open. No big deal- he shot a first-round, one-under par 70. He’s also the youngest guy in the field.

Kyle Stanley is another amateur, from Clemson University, who was in line for a collegiate title. That was until a final-round 82 blew that idea. Pro golf…? Not yet. Maybe in a few years… but that didn’t stop a Top-20 performance in his first 18 holes- a one-over par 72.

That Tiger guy…? He also shot 72.

What’s a Derek Fathauer…? He plays golf at the University of Louisville with his twin brother, Daryl. He wrapped up with a two-over par 73. So did some guy named Adam Scott.

Enough about the guys hanging around in the Top 31… look at the top of the leaderboard… The guys up there remind me of the year at that-golf-tournament-in-Augusta when Mike Donald was in the last pairing- before he imploded worse than Greg Norman ever could.

Justin Hicks had only been in the US Open once before- 2004. He missed the cut. Hicks has played the mini-tours in Florida. Apparently, one of his winner’s checks bounced ((I think I know what tour that was on)). That kind of a mentality leads to the idea of going for every pin on every hole. You have to take someone’s idea of the Country Club ((and someone else’s idea of a tour stop)) and beat the hell out of it to win. His first day resulted in seven birdies…

Seven… on Torrey Pines… He and his caddie decided they were going to catch a movie Thursday night. There was no way they were going to watch the highlights.

Who are you again…??? That Hicks guy led with a 3-under par score until someone else came along.

dot…dot…dot…

Kevin Streelman got into the Buick Invitational as the third alternate. He was even paired with that Tiger guy until his Saturday and Sunday rounds went 75-77. He’s a tour rookie and a Dookie. Try not to hold it against him. He hadn’t finished any higher than 14th in any of the events he’s played in this year.

Like that stopped him…

Five birdies on his front 9 ((the back nine on the course)) added with two bogeys gives him an out of 33. He birdies his 11th hole to go to four under par. Four under par… at the US Open… at Torrey Pines. But then you could see that the gravity of the situation was grabbing at him a little bit…

Okay… grabbing at him a lot…

The 7th Hole is a par-4 of 477 yards on Round One. He hits his drive into the first cut which means his second shot is a punch out. He needed a good angle for an up and down. The pitch was less-than-standard if you listened to the TV-types broadcasting. He needs to sink a putt that had to go about 18-feet, clear a ridge, and make a hard-left turn at the end… all for a PAR!!! So, what happens…? The ball takes the hard left ((like a 90-degree left)) and heads home. Streelman pumps his fist like he just nailed a birdie on the 71st hole instead of his 16th hole on a Thursday.

Dude’s entitled…

Some nervous chipping and putting gets him through the 9th hole ((his 18th on the day))- the 612-yard, par-5. And you could tell it was really getting to him by then. If he had a few more holes to play I think the wheels would have come off and rolled across traffic. But he was safely in as long as his math checked out and he could remember his name in the clubhouse.

So, while the rest of you go for seeing Tiger and Phil challenge each other in Mickelson’s back yard give me a Streelman or a Hicks going for their moment where the marine layer clears just in time for a putt that really means something by Sunday…

Play it safe, everyone… I’ll talk to you soon…