Chad Versus The Bull.. Bull Wins...

((HT: PBR-TV))

Okay, the short version...
Chad lasted a second-and-a-half of the required eight seconds...

The HQ joked that, if he had in fact survived, he would have renamed the bull "Ocho Segundos..." or something like that...

Here's the full run...look quick...

Chad And The Bull

((HT: PBR/PBR-TV))

Tonight in suburban Atlanta, Chad Johnson/Ocho-Cinco gets to ride a bull (a real one) at the PBR Tour event at the Arena at Gwinnett Center.

Admitting that this act of riding a bull is part of a bucket list, if he survives he gets a new Ford truck and the opportunity to re-name the bull...

Here's your preview with Chad and his respect for the guys that do this for a living.


The HQ would like to elaborate that this act is NOT part of any bucket list whatsoever... and we hope he doesn't get trampled...

8-5 Honorary Member of Sporting KC

((HT: SportingKC/MLS))

Sporting Kansas City announced Chad Ochocinco has been named an "honorary member" of SKC after his six-day tryout. Ochocinco can duck back in and re-join the team for reserve training and workouts during the MLS season.

“This is a positive outcome for everyone involved,” Sporting Kansas City Manager Peter Vermes said. “It’s been great to have Chad here and we’ll welcome him back when he’s ready to return. He’s been a true professional throughout his tryout, he has fit right in with the other players and he has been a great presence in the locker room. He has definitely earned the right to be an honorary member of the squad.”

“I had a great six days here...just to be able to grace the pitch with these guys was awesome,” Ochocinco said. “It’s always been a dream of mine to play the game of soccer. Manager Vermes was kind enough to allow me to stay here at will to train with the reserves and continue to get myself in shape.”

Here's 8-5 talking to SKC's Dave Borchardt about his experience...
Chad Ochocinco Named Honorary Member of Sporting KC by SportingKC

And here's the reserve game highlights and post from Monday...
((HT: SportingKC their ownselves))

8-5 Staying In Kansas City

((HT: NBCActionnews.com/KSHB-TV))

It appears that Chad 8-5's stint with Major League Soccer will last a little longer.

The folks at Sporting KC are saying he gets to play in a reserve game Monday afternoon in his attempt to stick with a soccer franchise in the wake of an NFL lockout.

Here's a look back at Day Two of Ocho...
((HT: MLS/Sporting KC))


Here's Day One of Ocho-Football in KC...

Ochocinco + Diva = Slacker

For those who work their butt off just for the opportunity to play in the National Football League than you should be very pissed at Chad Ochocinco of the Cincinnati Bengals. It's no secret Ochocinco wants out of Cincy and will do whatever he can to make that happen including slacking off or just not giving a damn.

Here's what Ochocinco said Friday on the NFL Network.

"I'm not even going to lie to you, I'm going to say it. Last year, the offseason, I didn't lift one weight, I didn't run one route, I didn't exercise. I didn't do nothing because my focus was on getting out of a situation I didn't want to be in. I'm not going to lie," Ochocinco said.



“And the result of my season, whether we as a team did bad or not, that’s what I get. I get hurt in the preseason. I didn’t lift no weights. If I had been on my right regiment, I guarantee you my collarbone, my shoulder wouldn’t pop out of place. The ankle surgery, you know.”

2008 was Ochocinco's worst season since his rookie season of 2001. Last year he only caught 53 balls for 540 yards and 4 touchdowns. Like Ochocinco cares.

Ochocinco says he will report to the Bengals mandatory mini-camp on June 18 and according to the prima donna, things are fine between him a Bengal quarterback Carson Palmer.

“There is no 85 without 9, and there is no 9 without 85." Ochocinco said. The first part is right the latter, dude get a clue.

Here's some advice for you Mr. Ochocinco. Stop being a jackass and a publicity whore. Eat a large piece of humble pie, shut your mouth and play football.

How does the UFL sound.

Photo Courtesy: Andy Lyons/Getty Images

Dear Four-Letter Word (ESPN)

Dear Four-Letter Word (ESPN)

Actually before I get into my letter, I just want everyone to know that I just found out that the All-Star game is over. Apparently (since I didn’t watch it), the game lasted almost 4 days and ended in the bottom of the 117th inning. I guess that is my payback for slamming the game in my last column (Damn!)

Dear Four-Letter Word (ESPN) again…

Dear Presumptuous Producer,

I am looking for someone there in the land of arrogance and self-promotion to explain to me why I have been subjected to 2-weeks of non-stop stories on Brett (Whinny Bitch) Favre. The constant “Will he or won’t he?” speculation and the “What should he or the Packers do?” comments have officially driven me to the edge of insanity.

I say this because despite the occasional fits of arrogance and self-promotion, I do generally enjoy the product that you put out. However, it really is getting under my skin that whenever “YOU” decide that a story is a “Big Deal”, “WE” are subjected to a non-stop barrage of commentators, experts and players both current and former, all of whom engage in non-stop speculation.

If I sound bitter about this, I’m not. I am just trying to figure out why, with everything else that happens on I don’t know, pretty much a daily basis, you seem to think that Mr. Whinny Bitch is important enough to qualify for a slug on your nefarious “Bottom Scroll”? It almost seems as though we are getting the long feared, not used much anymore Saturday Night Live “Buckwheat has been shot” treatment.

I get that Mr. Bitch is a future Hall of Fame player with an insanely long list of credentials. I also understand that his 3rd, and this time official for a couple of months retirement was a big deal. Whenever a “Sports Legend” retires, it is a big deal, I know that. What I don’t understand is why there is a need to say that “He should be allowed to come back” or “He’s earned the right to do what he wants”. Yes, I know this is America and you can do whatever you want, but in Mr. Whinny’s case, he is holding a football team, and you could argue an entire football division hostage.

Too often, you (Four Letter Word) seem to get hung up on the overkill and oversaturation of your stories. Not only do you subject us (the viewer) to 5-7 minutes each night on your main show SportsCenter, you also subject us to the nonsensical ravings of the endless parade of former, not-quite successful former players on each of your non stop stream of Specialty shows that seem to air in an endless loop throughout the day.

My point is this, everyone knows that there is a story here and we aren’t naïve enough to say that you should ignore it. But my god, there seems to be an automatic 5 minute analyst segment every time that Mr. Bitch or anyone from the Packers emerges from the bathroom. Much in the same way that you have slaughtered Chad Johnson by giving us non-stop, weekly one-on one interviews with him, we (the people) are tired of coverage overkill. All we ask is that you slow down; report facts when they happen and let the story play itself out. Do we really need to know about text messages and possible rumored meetings if they aren’t confirmed? No!

Thank you for your time and understanding. It is my sincere hope that you understand that I bear no ill will towards Mr. Whinny Bitch at all, as I along with everyone else eagerly look forward to the next insincere statement that he makes.

Thank you,

The Staff of OnlineSportsGuys

The NFL is Stupid (and Chad Johnson is, Too...)

Okay, this is one of those things that are just kind of nagging at me; sort of like a gnat buzzing around your face for no particular reason other than to be annoying.

Can someone please explain to me why everyone associated with America’s so-called “Favorite Sport” just acts stupid during the spring and summer? No, I’m not just talking about the players here, I’m talking about the owners and the league too.

Screw you guys, we’re striking...

No, there isn’t going to be a strike this season, it’s going to be in 2011! Why you ask? Well, it has something to do with labor negotiations, salary caps and structure; or to put it in English for the rest of us...everybody wants more money.

A couple of weeks ago the league and its owners met in Atlanta to discuss a myriad of issues (yeah, myriad is pretty big for me). Among them, such gems as fan behavior and the length of players hair - the “oh by the way” part is this; the owners have decided to opt out of the current labor agreement. They, being the owners, want to keep more of their money and don’t want the players to get as much as they do.

That unto itself is not sheer lunacy, the biggest problem with this; the owners are the ones who agreed to all this in the first place. So, to solve this problem, the 2010 season - not the next one - will be played without a salary cap. Of course as we all know, everyone will totally play fair in that!

More Caps...

Okay, for a few seconds, lets suspend reality and by into all this bullsh*t that the billionaires need more money and the millionaires need less. Hard to be sympathetic there...isn’t it?

The other “cap” issue that came out recently, unlimited rookie salaries. The NFL Players Association came out swinging against the Falcons and their top pick, Matt Ryan, for agreeing to a record setting rookie contract. I think it is something like 6 years for 72 or 78 Million with 34 Million guaranteed. Okay, I can buy the veteran players being upset about a bunch of unproven rookie players getting all that money without ever taking an NFL snap, that ain’t right...or fair. Here’s the problem, who agreed to “No rookie Salary Cap”? Uh, hello, Bueller? Bueller?

Guys, the only people who can put such things in place are you! Don’t hate Ryan for that, if someone is going to wave that in front of your face, are you going to say no?

OTA’s...

I’m not talking about “Organized Team Activities” here; I’m talking about “Off-season Team Arrests.” Yeah, I’m talking about any number of players here, the list grows yearly. The NFL of course has decided to “NOW” do something about this by instituting a “Team” fine system for teams with a track record of troubled players. Neat. Let’s see you enforce that, Rog.

Chad, Chris, Adam and Travis...

I know we are getting long-winded here, but I really want to mention this fine group of guys. No, Chad...or “Ocho-Stinko” as he is quickly becoming known...hasn’t been a habitual rule-breaker, but he has been a little, well, cheap. Seems 8-5 has developed a habit of not paying people the money he owes them, this list seems to grow by the week. He eventually does pay-up, but you apparently have to dog him for the money. Not good when your income is 7 figures a year.

Oh, by the way, Mr. Stinko has, along with his quality agent Drew Rosenhaus, decided to make life miserable for the Cincinnati Bengals until they get a new contract. Not that the old one was horrible, they want a better one. It seems “Ocho” is not going to do any voluntary work, but at this point will show up for camp, but he won’t be happy about it. Right now, Coach Marvin Lewis has just kind of ignored him, which is probably the best way to deal with this kind, gentle, team oriented soul.

Speaking of the Bengals, they finally parted ways with Receiver/Hoodlum Chris Henry this spring. After 7 arrests and various issues that were near arrests, they decided that Henry was “Too much of a distraction." Wonder why they thought that? Surprisingly, nobody has tried to sign Mr. Henry as we get close to training camp, though I suspect someone will, after all in the NFL, you never run out of second chances.

Real quickly, I have to mention Adam “Pacman” Jones and his attempt to rehab his image and get back into the league. Pacman was traded this summer, even though he isn’t eligible to play for anyone yet. Adam has tried to make himself over by handing out food and supplies with “Feed the Children” here in Atlanta. Nice gesture, but prove you mean it by coming back. Until you prove that you are a changed guy, you are going to have a hard time convincing anyone that you mean it.

Oh, can’t forget Travis (9 kid) Henry, now formerly of the Denver Broncos. Travis, dude, you can’t have drug issues, multiple children from multiple women and expect to support them on an NFL salary if you aren’t in the NFL. You can’t mail it in at work and expect to keep your job and well...it seems that is exactly what happened to you. Now what are you going to do?

That is a lot...

Yeah, that’s a lot of stuff; the scary thing is that I only scratched the surface. I’m really curious how this whole long range strike thing is going to work. I believe the NFL thinks that people won’t care, they are the NFL. I would argue that the arrogant folks who run that business are going to have a hard time getting anyone to sympathize with them over money. Most of us normal people…really can’t relate.

--Phil Cantor

“The time has come, my song is over, thought I’d something more to say”- Time (Pink Floyd)