Dear Four-Letter Word (ESPN)

Dear Four-Letter Word (ESPN)

Actually before I get into my letter, I just want everyone to know that I just found out that the All-Star game is over. Apparently (since I didn’t watch it), the game lasted almost 4 days and ended in the bottom of the 117th inning. I guess that is my payback for slamming the game in my last column (Damn!)

Dear Four-Letter Word (ESPN) again…

Dear Presumptuous Producer,

I am looking for someone there in the land of arrogance and self-promotion to explain to me why I have been subjected to 2-weeks of non-stop stories on Brett (Whinny Bitch) Favre. The constant “Will he or won’t he?” speculation and the “What should he or the Packers do?” comments have officially driven me to the edge of insanity.

I say this because despite the occasional fits of arrogance and self-promotion, I do generally enjoy the product that you put out. However, it really is getting under my skin that whenever “YOU” decide that a story is a “Big Deal”, “WE” are subjected to a non-stop barrage of commentators, experts and players both current and former, all of whom engage in non-stop speculation.

If I sound bitter about this, I’m not. I am just trying to figure out why, with everything else that happens on I don’t know, pretty much a daily basis, you seem to think that Mr. Whinny Bitch is important enough to qualify for a slug on your nefarious “Bottom Scroll”? It almost seems as though we are getting the long feared, not used much anymore Saturday Night Live “Buckwheat has been shot” treatment.

I get that Mr. Bitch is a future Hall of Fame player with an insanely long list of credentials. I also understand that his 3rd, and this time official for a couple of months retirement was a big deal. Whenever a “Sports Legend” retires, it is a big deal, I know that. What I don’t understand is why there is a need to say that “He should be allowed to come back” or “He’s earned the right to do what he wants”. Yes, I know this is America and you can do whatever you want, but in Mr. Whinny’s case, he is holding a football team, and you could argue an entire football division hostage.

Too often, you (Four Letter Word) seem to get hung up on the overkill and oversaturation of your stories. Not only do you subject us (the viewer) to 5-7 minutes each night on your main show SportsCenter, you also subject us to the nonsensical ravings of the endless parade of former, not-quite successful former players on each of your non stop stream of Specialty shows that seem to air in an endless loop throughout the day.

My point is this, everyone knows that there is a story here and we aren’t naïve enough to say that you should ignore it. But my god, there seems to be an automatic 5 minute analyst segment every time that Mr. Bitch or anyone from the Packers emerges from the bathroom. Much in the same way that you have slaughtered Chad Johnson by giving us non-stop, weekly one-on one interviews with him, we (the people) are tired of coverage overkill. All we ask is that you slow down; report facts when they happen and let the story play itself out. Do we really need to know about text messages and possible rumored meetings if they aren’t confirmed? No!

Thank you for your time and understanding. It is my sincere hope that you understand that I bear no ill will towards Mr. Whinny Bitch at all, as I along with everyone else eagerly look forward to the next insincere statement that he makes.

Thank you,

The Staff of OnlineSportsGuys