Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Return of the Dirty Dozen and Your Bottom of the Barrel

You know it is the highlight of your college football season. It's the thing you anticipate the most. You're eager, anxious and a bit on the edge--because you know that it is coming.

Yes, that's right friends, it's the return of everyone's favorite segment. The best college football ranking system's none other than "The Dirty Dozen and the Bottom of the Barrel"--our look at the best, and the worst in College Football. Oh, and we'll give you some early picks for the week too.

With that in mind, we must re-introduce our characters in case you aren't familiar with the cast or movie: quote Kasey Kasem--"On with the countdown":

The Dirty Dozen:

1) Oklahoma 1-0. For now. We should know what they are this week. Thus far, they look the most complete and based on write-ups, they win this spot by default. This Week: at Florida State. Our Pick: FSU 34, Oklahoma 31 UPSET!

2) LSU 2-0. We also like the Tigers here. For now. They get this by virtue of beating the Ducks out of Oregon. Unless Jordan Jefferson returns this season, they probably won't stay. This Week: at Miss. St. Our Pick: Miss St. 27, LSU 23 UPSET!

3) Boise State 1-0. They won their biggest challenge. With ease. Short of a Kellen Moore injury, they won't lose this season. Face it SEC people, they are that good. This week: at Toledo. Our Pick: Boise St. 41, Toledo 17

4) Alabama 2-0. I'm not sold here, but they just keep winning. We still think they have more holes than in past years. Maybe we are right, maybe we aren't. This Week: vs. North Texas. Our Pick: Alabama 38, North Texas 6.

5) Florida St. 2-0. I like the premise of this team. It may be the best they've had in years down in Tally. We'll see if the choker label they earned the past few years sticks. It won't this week. Our Pick: See #1

6) Wisconsin 2-0. They always start strong. And then lose a game they shouldn't. I'm loathe to put them this high, but there aren't many options right now. This Week: at Northern Illinois. Our Pick: Wisconsin 41, N. Illinois 13.

7) Stanford 2-0. As long as Andrew Luck is there, they'll be a Top 10 team. Period. We aren't convinced they are better than this though. We'll find out soon. This Week: at Arizona. Our Pick: Stanford 34, Arizona 23

8) Texas A&M 1-0. They may soon be without a home, but they are SEC worthy at least this season. Ryan Tannehill is the real deal. This Week: vs. Idaho. Our Pick: Texas A&M 37, Idaho 10.

9)Oklahoma St. 2-0. An offensive juggernaut. Take that however you want. They can score. A lot. But they always can, it's just whether or not they can stop anyone. This Week: at Tulsa. Our Pick: Oklahoma St. 41, Tulsa 23.

10) Virginia Tech 2-0. They just keep on keepin on. A much better start this year, though they struggled with East Carolina last week. They and FSU are the class of the ACC, by a large margin. This Week: vs. Arkansas St. Our Pick: Va. Tech 37, Ark.State 23.

11) Nebraska 2-0. They haven't been stellar, but they haven't had to be. They've scored a ton, but haven't really been challenged. We like them in the Big 10 a lot, the rest of the conference may regret it. This Week: vs. Washington. Our Pick: Nebraska 37, Washington 31.

12) South Carolina 2-0. We may regret this. While they certainly can score, they haven't exactly stopped anyone yet. And they were lucky to win both their games. We will be surprised if they keep escaping. This Week: vs. Navy. Our Pick: S.Carolina 31, Navy 17. 

The Bottom of the Barrel: 

5) Oregon State 0-2. Losing at Wisconsin can be excused. Losing to Sacramento State, not so much. They have problems. Injuries and poor performances have doomed them. This Week: vs. Bye. Our Pick: Bye 31, Oregon St. 21(haha!)

4) Akron 0-2. Nothing "Zippy" about this team. They've sucked for years. And so far, they are ranked almost last in every category. Awesome! The Ohio loss run continues. This Week: at Cincinnati. Our Pick: Cincinnati 45, Akron 10

3) San Jose St. 0-2. Do you know the way to San Jose? No, neither do we. Though it appears that Dionne Warwick may be good enough to start for these guys. Anyway, unless you are old, you won't get that. This Week: vs. Nevada. Our Pick: Nevada 25, San Jose St. 17

2) New Mexico 0-2. Hello Mr. Locksley. You are truly the single worst coach in the history of college football. And there is now proof. 2-23 in the past 2 seasons. And it isn't going to get better. Though you have won a game...well 2. So you've got that to look back on. This Week: vs. Texas Tech. Our Pick: Texas Tech 48, New Mexico 13.

1) Memphis 0-2. Mike Locksley gives thanks to this team every day. Because they truly are college football's worst. And yet they don't realize it. Though they are supposedly active in conference realignment talks. Why? So they can drop to D-II? This Week: vs. Austin Peay. Our Pick Austin Peay 3, Memphis 2. (Note--anyone who attempts to watch this should have their college football fan license revoked--permanently!)

And there you go. We won't remind you of our consistent 75-plus percent success rate in picks over the past couple of years. At least not until next week. Until then...enjoy your football!

No comments: